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| Creativity abounds in an unwatched space. |
From the time we are very young we are taught that someone
is almost always watching our every move.
When a toddler trips and falls, their first reaction is not to cry, but
to look around to see if anyone was watching (as long as it was a minor
fall!). If no one saw, the toddler
typically gets up, dusts himself off, and continues on, but if someone is watching, he cries. Whether he is crying out of embarrassment or
pain, it is hard to know, but the reaction is markedly different. We are trained from our early days to be
aware who is watching and how we appear in their eyes. As we grow up, we spend a great deal of
conscious and unconscious energy managing our appearance.
As a photographer, the need to manage my appearance is even
more pronounced. In the presence of
other photographers, I am overly conscious of what I am using, how I handle my
gear, and I try very hard to look like I know what I am doing. I am self-conscious that I do not have a
professional-level camera and I make up for it by acting like I have everything
under control. That is sometimes hard to
do when I leave the lens cap on or my tripod almost falls over!
Until recently, I did not realize how much this self-consciousness
limits my photography. Not long ago I
was talking with other photographers about using a telephoto lens to get
different views on wide landscapes. My
first thought was how crazy I would look to others if I pulled out a 400mm at
an iconic wide-angle location like the Grand Canyon. I could hear the hushed conversation between
other photographers: “Hey, look at that chick with the telephoto. Doesn’t she know the Grand Canyon is a wide
shot? What an idiot…” I have never
actually overheard that conversation, but I it is loud and clear in my
imagination. Consequently, my telephoto
lens stays safe in my camera bag and I take the shot everyone else is
taking. How boring.
When I know no one is watching, I am liberated from their
expectations and judgments. In an
unwatched space, I am allowed to feel emotions and react to my surroundings to
the fullest extent; there is no need for restraint. I am free to truly be the nerdy, weird, and
quirky true version of myself. I ask the
clouds to move, I curse the dead tree branch in the corner of my shot image, I
cheer when the sun lights up, and I apologize for stepping on flowers out loud. I play with different exposures, lenses, and
compositions. In general, I have more
fun!
My new goal is to create the feeling of an unwatched space
wherever I go. If I can focus my energy
on enjoying the scenery as I would if I were alone, I will have more fun and,
most likely, create better and more creative images. When I am free to play with my photography
and interact more fully with my surroundings, my creativity expands and I come
home with more than good images, I have a memorable experience.
